Catch up & life update!

Good morning my beautiful book besties!

Happy Monday Moonday as the witches say (it’s me, I say that).

If you follow me on Instagram, you might already know that I want to turn this newsletter into something a bit more intimate, and not just something I use as a marketing tool. 

Actually, while we’re on the subject, I am in a major marketing fatigue. 

My online presence is starting to feel a tad mechanical and robotic (in my opinion at least). And so, I’ve been craving a space where I can just be me, in all my facets, and not worry about views or reach. 

So here we are. :) 

In most recent news, I’ve officially become a full-time author! 

It’s not exactly how I would have planned it but the circumstances almost felt fated. In all honesty, I was left relieved that the decision was made for me. I am filled with hopeful anticipation for what the universe has planned for me next. In tarot speak, we call this a Fool moment. Because the Fool doesn’t know what comes next but has the utmost faith that everything will work out in their favour. 

All they need to do is take the leap. 

Including becoming a full-time author, I’ve had a lot of big life moments happen in the past year, and because of it, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. 

Who am I kidding, I always do a lot of reflecting.

Here are a few life lessons I’ve learned in the past few months:

Growing up poor is a very deeply ingrained kind of trauma that I feel most of us don’t talk about that much because it’s so common.

It doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect us. 

The fear of never having enough, or worse, the fear of losing everything, has been a constant one for me, even when I finally became financially stable. Funny enough, it actually intensified the feeling when I did start experiencing success because now I had a lot more to lose than before. 

I know better than to give this feeling space and credibility, it is simply a trauma response. So I just acknowledge it, and quickly shoo it away. 

I deserve the success that I am experiencing. 

I deserve the life I've fought so hard to achieve. 

I’ve also been thinking a lot about what it means to be successful. I realized that I perceive success as something that happens in the future, something I am always aiming for. 

I've been reminded a lot lately, that success also lives in the past. And that yes, it’s great to aim forward but it’s also as important to look back and remind yourself of the success you’ve already achieved. 

It’s easy to compare myself to more successful indie authors, the ones that seem to hit a lot more milestones faster than I ever could. 

But then I remind myself what success feels like for me, and book rankings and thousands of reviews aren’t what feeds my soul. 

To me, success is something I experience on a daily basis outside of social media.

Success is finding the perfect apartment after years of compromise. 

It’s meeting your online friends in real life and having the best time imaginable.  

Success is finally feeling seen as the person you always knew you could become.

Success is the overwhelming support of this beautiful community. 

After a lifetime of mental health struggles and depression, I am just now starting to feel alive. 

And I am just so grateful to be here. 

That to me is the biggest success I could ever achieve … and it already happened! :) 

WRITING UPDATE

On the Line has been such a learning curve for me but I am now so close to the finish line! I officially have 20% left to write. My deadline is December 1st but I have a feeling I might finish early. :) Then I do a complete read-through. I go through all my alpha team’s comments and give it a good polish. After that, I send it to my beta team so they can rip it to shreds all over again.

I actually love the editing process the most. Writing the book is HARD, editing is a walk in the park after that. At that stage, the story already exists, you just have to make it pretty!

READING UPDATE

Let’s be honest, ever since writing books has consumed my life, I don’t read as much. There are a few reasons for that, one big one is that I can rarely shut off my critical editing mode mind. I can’t read purely for the vibes (trust me, I wish I could!!). I’ve always been the queen of DNF, and it has just worsened when I became an author lmao.

Anyway, that said! There are a few books and authors that remind me why I fell in love with reading in the first place. Zoe Draven is one of them. I finally picked up the last book in the Horde Kings of Dakkar. This series is such a comfort series for me! It technically falls into the alien romance category but at the core of it, it’s a lot more of a cozy fantasy series in my opinion. I can’t recommend it enough, the second book in the series is one of my all-time fav reads.

SMALL REMINDERS

Both Was I Ever Here and Was I Ever Real are now on Audible!

Was I Ever Free will be released January 2024.

You can pre-order On the Line here.